tired

you was not there when i needed you. so is this proving that giving up on you is the right thing to do? it is so difficult to give up. i was like moody and blur this few days. i am having headache and i am crying over you every time i think bout you. but now life is so difficult for me. i get into fights with almost everyone i know.

i was like holding on my temper on you, you always walk away from me these few days. i know you're busy but i just need you to be with me at this time when i don have him with me. you just didn't notice it and always walking away from me.
it is now a fake smile on my shit face.

sorry to a friend that i fought with you twice i didn't meant to fight. it us just i am in a very tension mood. really very sorry.

and sorry i am letting you down. i not strong enough so i am doubting myself now. although you told me not to. but i just tend to. everything other ppl said making me doubt myself. i lack of confident and there's nobody there for me. i just hv no one to cry on. no one to talk to. no one to look for. there's is no one. i can't even rely on myself. it's just pain. and hiding and crying.

i am sick of these kind of life i am living,smiling although i don want to talking even i don want to. doing everything i don want don like!!

Giving up

when i fall for you, i was thinking oh my goodness how can i fall for you? but that issue didn't bother too long, i just felt that it's fine, i'll just keep it as a secret from you. but slowly i started asking for more, you're treating me the same way as you are but i just felt like you're not treating me good enough. getting jealous, envy the people who can fool around with you. everything is making me crazy. wanted to make you study, at least have a target you have none. finding we came from both totally different world and belongs to it makes me frustated for a long term of time but when make things up in my mind i made my decision giving up on you is the best choice. it is not that between the both of us there's no chance it is just me. i can't accept it, when i think if we may fight over small things next time, it is better for me to get things cleared up. i just hope to maintain as friends with you, that's all for now. everyone is having their problems. some people share it with their friends some people hide it some people...ignore their problem. i am now facing one of my problem it is not the bigges but is the most complicated one. i cry over a song when i listen to the lyrics bcuz of you. the singer wasn't good but the song is good, the lyrics are good, i cry for an hour bcuz of the song and you. i admire my idol like i admire you but i didn't cry over an issue of them even i am dissapointed but i didn't cry. i cried over you!!! how amusing~